I swear I’m not fishing for birthday wishes. Really. That’s not my intent in mentioning that today is, in fact, my birthday. My 24th birthday to be exact. And it’s today. November 25. I won’t even spell it out for you. Or maybe I should in case you don’t know how to spell 25. Twenty-five. That specific day, and it was in November 24 years ago that I changed all of your lives, just by virtue of my being born. Because now you’re all better off having known me personally, or through word-of-mouth, or virtually, through my blog or my weekly anal sex webcam chat. Seriously, I don’t want you to drop me a line that literally takes five seconds of your time that would otherwise be spent scratching your ball sack, or mindlessly taking your phone out of your pocket without external prompting, then hitting the power button on, then off, then immediately putting the phone back in your pocket.
But if you’re one of those people that just has to do it, well, some people are just that steadfast in their convictions and I really don’t know how to sway them otherwise. Because saying those two words—“happy birthday!”—exclamation point or points included, on the corresponding day, which happens just once every 365 day, arouses in me no positive feelings. But if it makes you feel all good and juicy inside, well, I certainly wouldn’t want to impinge on your doing what it takes to feel good and juicy inside. But don’t think for a second that I’m gonna beg you to drop me a line at any of the following:
-via facebook: facebook.com/stevenlo1125
-via email: email@example.com
-via LINE: sdot25
-via text message or phone call: 0970-374-764
-via Antipriety in the comments section
-via handwritten letter: 一二三亞洲路， 台北，台灣 (123 Asian Street, Taipei, Taiwan)
-in person: ShiDa University, MTC building, room 907 from 12:30 p.m. - 2:30 p.m. where I study Chinese everyday in the third seat from the far right
Life has changed quite a bit and now nothing makes me happier than
and feminists comments on the internet. And not getting birthday wishes.