Tuesday, March 5, 2013

The false promise of "true love"

And God said: "If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads." 
-Leviticus 20:13 from the Bible

And the atheist said: "In Christianity neither morality nor religion come into contact with reality at any point."
-Friedrich Nietzsche


The other day one of those Christian recruiters approached me outside my school, and of course I was jubilant. (For whatever reason I get some sick, sadistic pleasure hearing Christians say dumb shit.) Sure enough within the first thirty seconds of our talking the guy spewed the bullshit. I asked him why God is so spiteful and jealous in the Old Testament, and that being the case, how could you possibly worship someone who acts like such an immature asshole all the time. His answer was so beautifully stupid it's only right to grant it its own paragraphical autonomy: 

"He's jealous because he loves us. You know when you have a girlfriend or a wife and sometimes you get jealous if she flirts with another guy or something like that? It's because you love her and you want her all to yourself. It's only natural. And it's the same way with God. He loves us so much and He wants us for Himself as well. So He often gets angry or jealous because of that." 

Fucking amazing. I gave the guy the "you're not actually buying what you just said" look, and though his face didn't carve or contort into unmistakable culpability, I did see a flash of uncertainty pan across the lines of his face, and that was good enough for me. Pretty sure later when we parted ways he was thinking to himself, "What the fuck was I saying? 'He loves us so much and wants us all to Himself'? What does that even mean?" Unless, of course, the exact opposite is true; unless he sauntered away merrily and thought, "What a great response. And so true too. God doesn't want to share. So sue Him. I think I'm gonna have a sandwich tonight..." 

Appallingly moronic as the guy's reasoning was, still it did more than just make my day in terms of entertainment. Unbeknownst to the Christian recruiter, his boyfriend/girlfriend-God analogy revealed buried roots to a concept I've been suffering over for a couple years now: Monogamy. Of course his own attempt at logic missed the mark completely, but in doing so he paved the way for me to arrive at the following hypothesis, that in society's creating one God and one God only (the shift from poly- to monotheism), it brought the reins of "exclusive love" into the forefront of human relationships, and thus monogamy was either established as the societal norm, or was further reinforced to be as such. 

Let's take a look at the first three of the 10 Commandments (King James Version):

1) Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

2) Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing... for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God.

3) Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.

I have to ask this again: religious folks, is this really the God you worship? He sounds like Chris Brown lecturing Rihanna when they first started going out. Which brings me to my next point. Don't the above commandments have much in common with the unspoken rules of romantic relationships?

Chris Brown's first three Commandments:

1) I will be your only lover, you got that, bitch? 

2) Don't even think about another guy, or even think about thinking about another guy. Or I'll fuck you the fuck up.

3) You will refer to me only as CB, baby, or daddy. 

What do you think? Could the poly- to monotheistic belief shift transform the scope of intimate relationships for the next 2,000+ years to come? 

Next post will actually delve into my own opinions about monogamy. Stay tuned. 


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